I'm originally from Long Island, New York but grew up in south Florida. I share this information because when I read the list I could only wish SOMEONE had shared it with me 20 years ago (or more!). So, in true Southern hospitality, I am sharing this humorous advice with you in what I hope is a timely manner.
- Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
- Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
- If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
- Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. (Let me know if you need an address - the shop is open 24 hours/day!)
- Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
- Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, ar ya?"
- Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. (They don'tunderstand you either.) :)
- Remember Northerners are often identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers. (Keep a hankie handy!)
- If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle!
- If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" Stay out of his way. These are likely to be the last words he will ever say.
More at: www.BarefootPreachr.org
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