E-Book Goes to the Doctor

I believe I mentioned before that I have an e-book that I love. My husband and daughter bought it for me for Christmas and he hasn’t been out of my sight since.   He lives in my purse and goes everywhere with me.  You can never tell when you’ll have to sit and wait.   My e-book keeps me entertained and makes my wait much easier.  (That could be what the “e” stands for …..entertainment and easy!)

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that my e-book needed a charge.  I plugged him in and he immediately lapsed into a coma.  He wouldn’t turn on.  He wouldn’t turn off.  He laid there silent and featureless.  I couldn’t be sure if he was even breathing on his own.  He looked the same plugged in in as he did unplugged.

Today I was able to take my e-book to his affiliated book store for a diagnosis and a prognosis.  I had very little hope for his survival.  I was concerned that I would have to permanently pull his plug.  Of course, I didn’t have an extended warranty.  I took it to the counter and explained his symptoms to the e-book doctor who looked to be about twelve years old.  He was wearing Harry Potter glasses and a bow tie.  Was he old enough to bring my almost deceased e-book back to life?  I trembled in fear.  What would I do if it was terminal?

Electronic devices are not my thing.  My cell phone makes and receives calls.  I can text you a message if you have about a half hour to wait while I find the right buttons and click three times for “r” and twice for “h”.  Fortunately where I work there are several hundred teenagers.  If I needed to add a contact or edit one, I’d just walk outside my office and there would be plenty of help.  I don’t need apps, or music or internet or other extra added attractions.  My daughter tells me that some of these things are in my phone but I can’t find them and I’m happy not looking for them.  I found a game once and had to wait for two days until I saw a teenager to get me out of it.

I feel the same way about my e-book.  It doesn’t need to do anything except let me read.  E-books are capable of doing many more things.  They’ll connect to the internet, and let you harvest your virtual farm while you’re waiting for you tires to be rotated.  All I need to do is read.  I’ll milk my cows when I get back home.  My Facebook friends can wait to tell me what they’ve eaten with their Cheerios until I’m sitting in front of my computer.  A book from the library does nothing but let you read and that’s all I need my e-book to do.  However, as I waited for the diagnosis, my eyes were drifting to the beautiful new e-books lying on the counter.  The ones in color.  The shiny ones.  The ones that glowed.  I’m so easily sucked in by glitz and glamour.  I tried to turn away.

I guess I shouldn’t have been concerned about Doogie Hauser in a bow tie working on my e-book.  He dismembered my e-book and removed his heart.  Using his paddles Doogie gave my e-book a jolt and he came back to life instantly.  The e-book doctor willingly passed on a few tips and some e-book knowledge and sent me on my way to read happily again.  I turned my back on the color, the shiny, the glow and the glamour.  I tucked my resuscitated, plain read-only e-book back into my purse.  He’s all I need……….for right now.