Safe Teens on the Road

Holly Springs-Hickory Flat Patch invites you and your circle of friends to help build a community of support for mothers and their families right here in Holly Springs and Hickory Flat.

Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of experts and smart moms takes your questions, gives advice and shares solutions.

Moms, dads, grandparents and the diverse families who make up our community have a new resource for questions about neighborhood schools, the best pediatricians, 24-hour pharmacies and the thousands of other issues that arise while raising children.

Moms Talk will also be the place to drop in for a talk about the latest parenting hot topic.

So grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start today's conversation.

Q: Monday, a Douglas County judge denied bond for a 17-year-old boy accused of DUI and vehicular homicide. Four passengers were in Jason Lark's SUV early Saturday when he lost control and the SUV flipped several times. One of the passengers, 16-year-old Cheyenne Sauls, was killed. Two others were hospitalized with injuries. Another fled. In light of this, what can parents do to keep their teens safe from drunk drivers?

A: This is such a sad story. My oldest child is only 10 years old, so this is a difficult question for me. I know that I have already started talking to my kids about such topics.

First of all, I hope that I will have a close and open relationship with my children when they are teens. When I was a teenager, I knew that I could call my dad for a ride and I would not get into trouble. He did not approve of underage drinking but realized that it did occur. He made it clear that if I was ever in a situation where the driver or I had been drinking, I just needed to call him. I took him up on this once. His initial reaction was shock, but he stopped and just said OK. I think, in this instance, my dad had an effective way to deal with such a situation. 

With the development of YouTube and other social media, there are many scare-tactic videos we can show our teens. I would have no problem at all having my teenager sit down and watch a video of a car wreck that occurred because of alcohol, drugs, texting or just plain foolish behavior. Kids need to know that cars are not toys and they are dangerous. I want my kids to know this and to take it seriously. Unless they get this drilled into their heads, they will maintain that teenage mentality of being invincible. Too often, teenagers feel that nothing bad will ever happen to them, until something bad happens to them. As parents, we need to teach them that bad stuff can happen and they need to do everything possible to prevent it.

I think it is very important to always know where our kids are at all times. When I was a teenager, we did not have cellphones or GPS tracking devices, and it was very easy to pretend to be one place and actually be at another. Today, if parents have a concern, they can require proof. If a child is supposed to be at the mall, the parent can ask the child to immediately text a picture. Parents should know who their kids are out with at all times as well and, again, can get instant proof of this. Parents should talk to their friends' parents and make sure that other parents have similar rules for the evening when the kids go out without adult supervision. I believe we have to stay on top of our teenagers to be sure they are safe. It is not our job to be their friends when they are teens. It is our job to keep them alive and moving forward to be successful adults in our society.

Easier said than done, I am sure. Ask me again in eight years when I have an 18-year-old. 

Tammy Bester, mom of 3

A: Personally, the first issue I would address is underage drinking. Whether your family believes drinking is right or wrong, it does not change the fact that underage drinking is illegal. As a parent, I hope and pray every day that I am raising my children to make wise choices. If we instill this habit in our children, when faced with peer pressure, they are (hopefully) more likely to stand their ground and not give in to temptation. Realistically, despite the best parenting, teenagers can still make poor decisions. That is why I also feel it is important to have an open, honest and trusting relationship with your children. I want my children to know that if they do end up in a setting that is unsafe, they can call me, and I will pick them up. I would much rather they make it home safe than not make it at all.

Jenny Howard, mom of 3