About this column:
I hate healthy food and I love TV. This is a weekly attempt to get healthy and cut the nonsense out of working out.
I fell off the wagon with my exercise program. Actually, I fell off the treadmill. Saturday morning was the “endurance test” portion of my half-marathon training plan, so I set out to run the four miles. I had on my most comfortable workout clothes, tennis shoes double knotted and more than enough Crystal Light. About a mile in, I had to go to the bathroom. I paused the treadmill and stepped off. When I came back, I bounced back on the treadmill and then it happened. The thing was still on. I know I turned it off. I know I did. I can’t get off the treadmill without turning it off. But here’s …
It’s morning and before I even check my email, I put on my work out cl othes and head to the gym. The air is crisp and I can’t wait to jump start my day with a nice run. I go to the gym and run. It clears my head so I can edit the rest of the day. I’ve found that it decreases my appetite, so I eat far less when I run first thing in the morning. Wait, no. That’s not what happens. I drag my sleepy behind out of bed, wake up my dog and get some semblance of work out clothes on that usually involve at least one article of pajamas from the night before. It’s been a while since I’ve written this …
I’m a firm believer that there are some times when calories cease to exist: mission trips, sick days, that first afternoon when Girl Scout Cookies are delivered and snow days. Some people buy bread and milk. I buy chocolate and Diet Coke. So this column is to announce that, as far as I know, calories do not count on days when roads are frozen over. First of all, you have to burn at least 300 calories building that snowman. You probably sweat off another 150 in those minutes between bundling up and heading out into the cold. I’d estimate that you get rid of another 50 from getting up once you …
Do you ever watch an infomercial and think, "Man, I gotta get me one of those"? I do. My most recent gotta-have-it moment came with the Ab Circle Pro infomercial one night or early morning. I remember thinking that just by swinging my knees from side to side, I could fully develop my six-pack. Well, not quite. This week I had two goals. The first was to eat one healthy meal each day. The second was to use the Ab Circle Pro for the recommended three minutes each day. Now the Ab Circle Pro looks like a medieval torture device, if you ask me. But in theory, it's pretty genius. First of all, it'…
I hate healthy food. I also hate running, exercise, yoga, pilates, gyms, healthy people, and food you have to cook. Self Magazine makes me sick. I don't find volleyball on the beach fun; I find laying out on the beach fun. I love TV. I make a weekly schedule that revolves around the new episode of Criminal Minds. Don't believe me? You can ask a few other Local Editors if I answer my phone on Wednesdays at 9 p.m. (8 central). I'm a chubby kid at heart. Another thing I love is resolutions. So this year, I resolve to get healthy. In the list of life milestones, I think getting healthy falls …
