I hate healthy food. I also hate running, exercise, yoga, pilates, gyms, healthy people, and food you have to cook. Self Magazine makes me sick. I don't find volleyball on the beach fun; I find laying out on the beach fun.

 I love TV. I make a weekly schedule that revolves around the new episode of Criminal Minds. Don't believe me? You can ask a few other Local Editors if I answer my phone on Wednesdays at 9 p.m. (8 central).

I'm a chubby kid at heart.

Another thing I love is resolutions. So this year, I resolve to get healthy. In the list of life milestones, I think getting healthy falls somewhere shortly after getting your dream job, which I now have working in the lovely Holly Springs and Hickory Flat.

As I was driving around the other day, visiting gyms for an interview, driving by runners on Hickory Road, it occurred to me that the only way for me to keep my resolution of getting healthy was to make myself keep you, the Patch readers, updated on my progress.

The only thing I hate more than vegetables is being a failure.

My weekly updates will consist of tolerable ways I find to work out, decent recipes to try out and my futile (and probably failed) attempts to get my lazy dog to walk with me.

I'll also talk about equipment. I compulsively buy workout gadgets, try them out for a week and then they go under the bed. Maybe if I'm forced to write about them, then I'll use them more.

And yes, I do own a Shake Weight.

I collect cute workout clothes, too. The other day I told my mom I was going to start working out and she said, "Oh, you mean go buy more clothes to watch TV in." Right.

All in all, this is real life look at health and fitness from a TV-loving, junk-food junkie.

The goal is not to lose weight. Although there are some things that jiggle that I wished they didn't, I have avoided plunging into obesity. I'd just like to be able to climb two flights of stairs without getting winded or join in a pick up game of soccer with some friends.

So help me out. Comment on this story. Yell at me when you see me eating (another) chicken salad sandwich and cheese spread at Frosty Frog. It's just so good.

Then, maybe in March or April, we can play soccer in the park.

Then again, maybe we'll just catch a movie.